


When Spring Comes To Me Too

by K1mHeechu1



Series: Before Our Spring (Or FS Soulmate!AUs) [1]
Category: Figure Skating RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: 2014 Winter Olympics, 2018 Winter Olympics, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, It's not as sad as the tags make you think it is tho, M/M, Self-Doubt, Soulmates, Survivor Guilt, Why is there not tag for that?, death ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 21:40:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16395581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K1mHeechu1/pseuds/K1mHeechu1
Summary: He was used to dreaming about all the people that he may get as a soulmate, like every child was. But there were two things he was sure about: Hanyu Yuzuru was destined for great things, and for that reason, his soulmate would be the greatest person ever.





	When Spring Comes To Me Too

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is the third version of this story, version 1 I killed someone and then went ahead and removed that part, version 2 there was still some maiming, so I sat to revise it a little bit, and it snowballed and it somehow became this?  
> I think this is the fluffiest thing I've writen, tbh.  
> Thanks to my friends for chosing the theme and for listening to me moan about this freaking thing as I wrote it.
> 
> No Shomas were hurt while writing this story.
> 
> Enjoy your reading!

 

When he was 4, the standard was Ryusei, the older kid that lived five houses away from him, all eye smiles and really smart. So smart, he had skipped a couple grades. Hanyu Yuzuru’s soulmate would surely be someone extremely intelligent and successful.

When he was 11, the standard was Evgeni Plushenko. He was amazed at the Russian skater as he saw him soar and win an Olympic Gold Medal. All grace, big performances and big jumps. Surely, Hanyu Yuzuru’s soulmate would be an Olympic Gold Medallist, or at least a World Champion. Yuzuru planned to win at least 2 Olympic Golds, and wouldn’t it be embarrassing if his soulmate was mediocre… or worse, what if his soulmate didn’t skate?! Well, he’d forgive his soulmate for not being a skater only if HE had at least been successful in his chosen career path. And yes, he did say HE. His soulmate wouldn’t be a girl. That he knew for sure.

Once he started competing internationally, he would look around at the skaters that stood on the podium, sizing them as competitions and as possible soulmates. No one was quite right. Too short, too tall, too serious, too mediocre. His mum tended to scold him for that way of though, but he couldn’t help it. He hoped his soulmate was a figure skater, and as such, he had to analyse all figure skaters he knew to see who would be a good fit for him. And it wasn’t all bad, his want to at least talk to all male skaters at least made him meet people, and he wasn’t the most sociable person out there, so that surely had to be a good side of his plan, right?

Anyway, he wouldn’t actually know who his soulmate was until he turned 24, that was the rule.

Everyone found who their soulmate was at 24, unless their soulmate was dead. You went to sleep the night of your birthday and woke up in a place of significance for you and your soulmate had 24 hours in that dream to be together. That was especially useful for people that hadn’t already met their soulmate in real life, as they’d be able to exchange information and plan to meet in the future.

It didn’t matter if your soulmate was younger than you and hadn’t turned 24 yet, or if they had turned 24 years ago, the dream was always time wrapped, which allowed for soulmates to have the same dream even if it was years apart.

The only exception to this rule where people that were born without soulmates, or people whose soulmates had died before either of them had turned 24. Those people wouldn’t have the dream at all, for their soulmate had never reached the needed age to have the dream, nor would they ever reach it.

When he was 16, his world was shaken upside down.

He saw the ice beneath his feet shatter and fly in all different directions.

He saw the roof over his head shake and break and fall.

He run as debris fell around him, blades still on his feet, a scream stuck on his throat. He grabbed his bag instinctively, knowing that it would be stupid to survive a building falling apart but die of an asthma attack as he made it out.

He became desperate to flee even further, to find his family and go to a safe place as he heard the tsunami warning ringing on the streets of the already destroyed city.

He felt the warm arms and tears of him mum surrounding him as he collapsed into her arms, crying and on the verge of an attack as he struggled to normalise his breathing.

At one point, as he lay on his back on a cold school gymnasium, he mentally asked his soulmate for forgiveness, in case he didn’t actually make it out of this mess alive, and left the other person alone to never have a dream, because he’d never turn 24 if he died in that cold, devastated wasteland that had once been a city, his beautiful hometown, now flooded and ripped apart by nature.

He survived.

Some days he wished he hadn’t.

He sometimes still wished he hadn’t.

 

He had only seen the other skater a couple times. They hadn’t ever been in Juniors together, because the other skater had started competing on the Senior level in 2006, so he hadn’t had the chance to interact with him. He knew the skater was Spanish, a weird nation for a figure skater, considering it was all sun and beach and football.

He had seen the other skater’s program at the Cup of Russia and previously, so much raw power and potential, but lack of serious training and technique made him inconsistent and mediocre at best.

But when he saw him again the next year at the same event it was as if he was a completely different skater. He learned his name after he saw his quad Salchow.

Javier Fernandez. Used to train under Morozov and had only been training under Brian Orser for a few months. Yuzuru could see those few months had made all the difference in the world. Fernandez was still inconsistent, but now he could see the full potential and he knew Fernandez would be good, great even. And Brian Orser had done that. Brian Orser had awakened Fernandez potential.

When he was 17, he took the decision to leave Japan.

He knew he, no matter what great results he had gotten that season, needed to change coaches if he wanted to be the best. And he knew exactly who he needed as a coach.

When the Japanese Federation asked him why he wanted Brian Orser as a coach, he told half of the truth.

“I want to be the best, and I know Brian Orser will help me be the best. He led Kim Yuna to an Olympic Gold Medal, and he will lead me to one as well.”

When he met with Brian Orser, he told the other half of the truth:

“I want to train with Fernandez. I want his quad Sal.”

He was in Toronto less than a month later, standing in front of what would be his skating home for the future two years, at least.

He was scared.

His mum was standing next to him, talking English when he didn’t understand, which was basically 99% of the time, and translating what needed to be translated.

Coach Wilson - “Call us Brian and Tracy, Yuzuru. Everyone here does”- was showing them around the Cricket club.

The went to the rink, and Yuzuru’s attention was lost instantly.

Javier Fernandez was on the ice.

There was something about the older skater that just called out to him. His confidence on the ice, which had gotten so much better since he had come to Toronto, his posture… and, he had to be honest, how incredibly handsome the older man was.

He gasped when the other man skated past them and launched himself into a perfect quad Salchow, landing it with a soft knee and a small noise, and quickly skating back to Brian, who was standing on the side, to hear directions.

Seeing the jump that had begun it all from so close confirmed what he thought.

Javier Fernandez would be a powerful rival in the future, and Yuzuru would be close by to work hard and become better than the older man.

He would win. He was convinced.

 

The thing he had not expected was the fact that the older skater would be so likeable.

To be honest, Yuzuru had mentally prepared himself for a second Plushenko/Yagudin type of rivalry, but Javier had shattered that expectation from the first time they talked.

Javier had instantly shaken Yuzuru’s hand, and started talking with him, slowing down and simplifying his word choices when he saw that Yuzuru’s English level was worse than bad.

But surprisingly, they understood the other.

Yuzuru understood Javier’s Spanish accented English better than he understood native English speakers, and Javier could always translate what Yuzuru meant when his words where not helping, and he couldn’t get his point across.

They never met outside of the club, but inside its walls, people had begun joking that, if you wanted to find Javi, all you needed to do was find Yuzu, and vice versa, because the two would do everything together while training.

And Yuzuru had started to develop a crush towards the older skater. It was impossible not to get a crush on him, with his big eyes, soft smile and handsome face, his kindness and louder than life personality.

But Yuzuru would never do anything about it. He would get rid of the crush because nothing would happen. Nothing could happen. Because he didn’t know who his soulmate was, and yes, there was a chance that it could be Javier, but there was also a bigger chance that it would not be Javier, and he didn’t want to break his own heart by hoping.

 

When he was 18, he finished second in the GPF, and he got his first Japanese National’s Gold Medal, and a silver in 4CC, and he finished off podium at Worlds, but he was okay. The next year would be better, the next year he would win everything. He promised himself.

 

He still dreamt of his perfect soulmate.

His dreams where always tinted gold, and warm big arms would wrap around his waist, brown eyes staring into his lovingly.

But they were only dreams.

 

When he was 19, the season was almost perfect. He had a gold medal from the the Grand Prix Final -silver on both GP qualifiers, he still was disappointed he hadn’t skated well enough for gold-, and on Japanese Nationals once more.

 

And then he won a gold medal at the Olympics.

He sat in his room at the Olympic villa, hands tightly wrapped around the medal, as if it would disappear if he put it down.

He still couldn’t believe it.

He still couldn’t believe that three years ago, he thought he would die buried under rubble and water and fear, that he would never skate again, that life would never be normal again.

And today he was sitting on a bed in Russia, holding a Gold Medal he had won.

Most skaters would consider retirement after an Olympic gold. Leave at the top, what better way to go out with a bang?

But he was 19.

He had to make his mum proud. She had abandoned her own life to move to the other end of the world for him.

He had to make him dad and sister proud. He had selfishly ripped their family apart to better his skating career.

He had to make Sendai proud. He had survived when so many people worth more than him had perished. He had left when so many people would never be able to leave… or live.

He had to make Japan proud. They had supported him, and cheered for him, and deposited their hopes on him, he couldn’t let that go to waste.

He had to make his soulmate proud. He had cowardly left home instead of staying to help, decided to continue skating even if it ripped his family in half, and costed a lot of money, and selfishly desired more, so he needed to make sure he’d be worth it. That he would deserve his soulmate’s love. That he wouldn’t be a disappointment.

His determination won him a World Championship to go with that Olympic gold.

 

 

When he was 19 he thought his world was ending again, but from the pain.

He could only remember the Cup Of China signs pasted to the sides of the rink, warming up for his free program, skating backwards, turning around and then… nothing.

He had no recollection of things for at least a couple of minutes.

The next thing he remembers is having difficulty to breath, and everything hurting. His ankles hurt, his chin burned, and his head was killing him.

And on top of that, he could feel the blood running down his face.

With help from the emergency staff he got up and skated to the boards where he could see a pale Brian waiting for him.

He exited the ice, and then everything became a blur once again. He could feel hands touching his legs and chest, possibly checking for broken bones. He could also feel hands on his head and face, and smell the antiseptic, but it was as if everything was underwater.

Then, the words that made him pay attention.

“He should withdraw.”

He lifted his head.

“I’m skating.”

Kikuchi looked troubled.

“I’m skating” He repeated, this time in English.

Now it was Brian that looked troubled.

“Yuzu…”

“I did well in short. I need ok free. I can do it. I have to do it.”

It took some fighting, but they gave in.

He skated out, warmed up, and skated his program.

It was a disaster. Every time he fell, felt like the whole arena was falling on top of him. His head was killing him. But he got up and went on.

Somehow, he got a silver medal.

He couldn’t move for days afterwards, had to be taken everywhere on a wheelchair, and lifting his arm felt like trying to push a mountain, but he fought through it, someone made it through NHK and barely squeezed into the GPF.

It was worth it. Javier had promised to take him sightseeing in Barcelona if they both got to the finals, and he wasn’t missing it for anything in the world.

It may possibly be one of the last times he would be able to hang out alone with Javier outside of the Cricket, and he would take advantage of it.

 

Javier turned to watch Yuzuru as he tipped his face back, closing his eyes as he felt the sun hitting his skin.

They were sitting in one of the many parks they had visited that day while sightseeing, just resting and enjoying the beautiful, sunny day.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Javier suddenly asked.

“Hmm…I just thinking of nonsense.”

“It’s not nonsense if it worries you.”

“Javi, what you think about soulmate?”

“Well, I’ve never been particularly interested in soulmates, as you know” Yuzuru nodded. Javier had always made it known when he dated girls, and that he didn’t think waiting for his soulmate to date was important. “I think my soulmate will understand the fact that I dated people before them and will love me regardless. After all, they are supposed to be perfect for me. What about you?”

“I always wanted soulmate. Since I little, always dream of soulmate. Always want to make soulmate proud. I can’t wait to meet him.”

“Him? How are you so sure your soulmate will be a man?”

“I know. It be man. Cannot be girl, I never like girl, only men.”

They stayed in silence for a little while.

“I’ve only ever dater women. Always women. But somehow, I have a hunch my soulmate may be a man too.”

“What hunch?”

“Hunch is like… a feeling. I feel inside that my soulmate might be male. And I’m totally okay with that. I’ve never been with a man, but I’d be okay with adapting for them.”

Yuzuru stayed quiet and tipped his head back again.

He couldn’t say that for the last couple of years, Javier’s face appeared in his mind every single time he pictured his soulmate.

He still hadn’t managed to get rid of his silly crush on his rinkmate.

 

 

When he was 20, he was torn between being extremely happy Javier was World Champion and being depressed and hating himself for not being good enough to defend his title.

Javier hugged him, trying to console him for his lost instead of celebrating his win.

He hated himself, but not Javi. He could never hate Javi.

 

 

“Room 564.

 Please come alone.

 I need someone to talk to.”

 

The message had worried Yuzuru.

Javier was never so direct, not even in text messages.

What was waiting for him behind the door of Room 564 broke his heart.

Javier looked like death warmed over.

His curly hair in disarray, as if it had been tugged numerous times, his eyes red and swollen, deep, dark circles decorating his face.

Yuzuru stepped in, closed the door and swiftly took Javier into his arms, hugging him close and tight.

Javier breathed in deeply, then let it out shakily, and buried his face in Yuzuru’s neck.

“What wrong, Javi? What can I do to help?”

“Just… hold me, please. Don’t leave me alone. Please don’t leave me alone.”

“Never” He promised firmly, guiding Javier to the bed, and helping him lay down half on top of him, face still buried in the crook of Yuzuru’s neck, and he held his body tightly against his own.

Javier started crying.

Yuzuru felt so impotent in that moment. He couldn’t stop Javier’s tears, or even find out the thing or person that had caused them and make sure it would never mess with his friend ever again.

So, he did the only thing he could do.

He hugged Javi so tight and for so long, he didn’t know where one body ended and the other started.

He let him cry all he needed to cry, for as long as he needed to. The one that cried easily was always Yuzuru, and Javier was always the one drying his tears and hugging him close. Now, he was giving back all the hugs Javier had given him and allowing him to let it all out and express what he really felt.

Javier stopped crying what felt like hours later. He hiccupped softly into Yuzuru’s skin, sighing as he felt Yuzuru’s thin fingers running through his hair.

“I don’t have a soulmate.”

Yuzuru’s movements halted at the whispered confession, but he quickly snapped out of it and went back to combing the curls between his fingers.

“I went to sleep on the fourteenth, and I woke on the fifteenth having dreamt nothing at all. So, I either never had a soulmate, or my soulmate is dead. And I’ll never know which one it is.”

Yuzuru’s heart broke even more when Javier started crying once more, and his own tears started falling too, as he buried his face in Javier’s hair wrapping both his arms tightly against the sobbing body draped over his.

It was so unfair really, Javier deserved the best, most amazing, sweet and caring soulmate ever. He was such a great person, a good friend, a caring student and a loving son. He couldn’t believe faith would be so unfair.

(His tears fell even quicker when he realised what it meant for him.

Javier didn’t have a soulmate dream.

Javier would never be his soulmate.)

 

 

When he was 21, Yuzuru broke all three of his own World Records for the second time in two weeks, won the GPF, won another Japanese National Title, and withdrew from 4CC.

With an injured foot, he fought for the World Championship with all he could do.

It wasn’t enough. Javier became World Champion for the second time in a row, and, also for the second time in a row instead of celebrating, he tried to console Yuzuru.

Once again, Yuzuru wondered if it wouldn’t have been better if he had died when he was 16, blades still on his feet and ice beneath his crumpled body.

And once again, Yuzuru hated himself.

But not Javi. Never Javi.

 

He became the first person ever to land a quad Loop in competition. He hoped his soulmate felt proud of him. He couldn’t feel to feel disappointed at himself for not skating to his full ability.

 

When he was 22, he won another GPF, he got the flu and had to withdraw from Nationals and got silver on 4CC -AGAIN-.

 

But he won Gold at Worlds. He skated his heart out and made up all his points with the free, and miraculously went from fifth to first and snatched the gold.

He couldn’t stop smiling but froze when he realised he had won.

HE had won.

Which meant Javier hadn’t. He hadn’t even made the podium. 

He looked around the mixed zone for his rinkmate, spotting him in between a cluster of reporters, and decisively made his way to him before anyone could stop him, taking his medal off his neck as he walked.

He ignored the surprised reporters, touched Javier’s arm, and when the other had turned, put the medal around Javier’s neck, hugging him tightly around the shoulders.

“This is yours as is mine. Can not get gold without Javi. Can never win without Javi.” He whispered in his ear, quietly so no one other than him could hear it.

 

He set a world record on the first competition of the season. He was frustrated with himself for how bad the free skate had gone. So many mistakes. Such a mediocre performance.

 

He fell on a quad Lutz and felt something snap, and saw his entire skating career flash in front of his eyes.

 

He stayed off the ice for so long he started going crazy. He couldn’t help but stare at Javier with envy, as his blades cut the ice. He wanted to skate, but was stuck on the side bench, seemingly eternally waiting for his weak body to mend itself.

Javier had started being distant, asked for separated training a while back. Kept to himself and only nodded hello when he couldn’t avoid it.

Yuzuru didn’t know what he had done to make Javier mad. He had to be the one to blame, there was no other explanation.

But for all he thought, and analysed, and tried to remember, he couldn’t come up with an answer.

 

He had to withdraw from Nationals. The JSF still gave him a spot for the Olympics and Worlds.

He wasn’t sure he deserved them.

 

When he was 23, he won a gold medal at the Olympics.

His second medal. The 1000th medal ever awarded.

He started tearing up the second he heard his score.

He made it all the way to the green room, holding the tears in.

He started crying the second he realised Javier would be on the podium no matter how Shoma did.

He clung to the Spanish skater like a koala the second he had him close enough. He couldn’t help but cry even harder as Javier once again tried to make him stop crying instead of freaking out himself.

 

“This will be my last Olympics, I’m probably retiring.”

Yuzuru’s heart broke again when Javier hugged Shoma and him and told them the news.

He knew the older man had told him there so that he wouldn’t be caught off guard during the press conference, but he couldn’t help but deny it instantly, and shake Javier’s shoulder as he started crying again.

“No, I can’t do it without you.”

“Yes, you can, you always could.”

“You’re so bad.”

 

 

He had to withdraw from Worlds. It was a miracle his ankle had manage the entirety of the Olympics without giving in under his weight.

Once again, he analysed his Gold medal, this one much heavier than the Sochi one. Much more solid, less holes. Even more beautiful.

And as he saw the medal glint under the light, he had a realisation.

He had made his mum proud. She had abandoned her own life to move to the other end of the world for him, but he had presented her with the PyeongChang Gold, thanked her for being there for him unconditionally, and told her it was time to be a real adult, and learn to live his life alone.

He had made his dad and sister proud. He had ripped their family apart selfishly, to better his skating career, but was now giving them their wife and mother back, he was mending his family back together.

He had made Sendai proud. He had survived when so many people worth more than him had perished. He had left when so many people would never be able to leave… or live. And he had skated for them, given his earnings to disaster relief, and raised awareness of the problems that still plagued the area, becoming a voice for those that could not be heard alone.

He had made Japan proud. They had supported him, and cheered for him, and deposited their hopes on him, and he had brought the 1000th Olympic Gold medal home.

And above all, he really hoped that his soulmate would be proud of him when they finally met in December. And even though he had cowardly left home instead of staying to help, decided to continue skating even if it ripped his family in half, and costed a lot of money, and selfishly desired more, he had payed his dues, he had brought honour to his family, his hometown and his country.

Javier had once said that he knew his soulmate would love him regardless, because they were supposed to be perfect for him.

He really believed so too.

And even though he knew most people were expecting him to retire, he decided that he wasn’t done. He had skated for his family, for his city and for his country.

Now it was time, for the first time in his career, to start skating for himself. To stop thinking about what he needed to do for other people, and start loving the ice the same way he did when he was a child.

 

 

He took another spoonful of ice, licking the spoon with gusto, snickering as he saw Javier cursing in Spanish, licking his fingers and trying to contain the ice cream waterfall that was already melting and going everywhere.

“Javi is such messy eater. Look at me, all is clean, no ice cream in other place than cone or tummy.”

“Well, I’m sorry, not all of us can eat ice cream so properly, your highness”

He laughed again, nodding his head to Javier’s leg, and the Spaniard cursed even louder as he realised the ice cream was all over his trousers.

They finished the treat, neatly placed the single paper napkin on the table, well, Yuzuru did, Javier had to go and dump the fifteen napkins he had used to clean the mess he had made all over the place and Yuzuru shook his head in amusement.

“What you do on Saturday?” Yuzuru asked, as they walked back to the Cricket to go fetch their stuff.

Javier froze.

“Well… I have to pack.” Yuzuru tensed. “The lease for my apartment does not expire until August, but I’m taking most of my things to Spain with me when I go back in two weeks. Especially Effie. She did not like to be left behind last time, and now I’m planning a much longer stay, so she comes with me.”

Yuzuru cleared his throat.

“Oh, that’s great. I bet she miss you lots when you not here. You have new house in Spain or go to parents?”

“I’m staying at my girlfriend’s house” Yuzuru’s heart panged. He cursed himself for not having gotten over that stupid crush. “We want to test how compatible we are living together for the future, she doesn’t want to wait too long before we get married”

“You talk marry? It not long for that, is it?”

“Well, both of us want to get married and have kids in the near future, and neither of us has soulmates, so we figured why not? It’s not settled in stone, but I guess it’s pretty serious.”

“I glad Javi happy. Javi deserve all happiness in the world.”

Javier smiled and hugged his shoulders, making him complain loudly when he messed his hair up.

 

 

 

Summer passed in a flurry of ice shows and rehab for Yuzuru, allowing himself to relax and be less intense had done wonders for him. He felt airy and floaty, and having Javier there made it all even better.

The older skater was acting even closer than he had ever before. He had woken up early on his birthday to skate for Yuzuru’s ice show, looking dazed and a little hangover, or maybe still drunk, and it had been the best thing in the world to see his smile even if it was just through the camera.

Then, during FaOI, he had stuck to his side like glue. It reminded Yuzuru to his first season at the Cricket. They had become JaviandYuzu, spending most of their time together, goofing around.

Yuzuru didn’t understand what he had done to deserve this abrupt change in his friendship, but he had smiled more that summer than he had in a couple of years put together, so he wasn’t about to complain.

 

Yuzuru still dreamt about his soulmate, anxiously, guiltily and trying to keep the image of Javier out of his mind.

He had only a few more months to wait before he met them.

And he couldn’t decide if the feeling in his stomach was butterflies or nausea.

 

Unsurprisingly, he breezed through both his qualifiers and got to the Grand Prix Final with ease. He had taken gold in both Helsinki and Rostelecom, his programs perfect for the new spirit he was skating with, and his positive energy and all-around newfound happiness making it easy to stay less intense.

It also helped that Javier had arrived to the Cricket one day, coffee in hand, and Brian had proclaimed that “Javi would be acting as a coach in training, to learn the ropes so he’d be able to coach full time in the future and yes, Junhwan, that means he can give out tasks and scold you if you’re fooling around.”

Yuzuru had stood still in the middle of the rink for a full two minutes before Evgenia and Jason were able to drag him to the side, all the way asking him if he was okay.

He wasn’t.

Last thing he knew, Javier had moved in with his girlfriend, whom he was planning on marrying in the near future.

What was going on?

He and Javier had spent the entire summer stuck together, why hadn’t he said anything?

“It just didn’t work.” Javier said, petting a grumpy Effie as they both sat in his living room, that was once again full of things stored in that weird way Javier organised things and that Yuzuru was sure he’d need either a PhD or a bag of weed to understand. “It fell apart in April, actually, but I didn’t want to make harsh decisions in a whim. Then the government decided to scrap the project to build a high-performance skating centre, so I decided that I needed to train to become a competent coach in the future, and there’s no one better to learn from than Brian and Tracy. Also, I still have Nationals and Euros to train for, and the lease for my apartment was easy to renew, so here I am.”

Yuzuru nodded.

Maybe deep down he was expecting another answer.

 

 

(No, he still hadn’t gotten over his stupid crush. It was getting quite annoying. He only had a couple more months until he’d meet his soulmate.)

 

 

 

Yuzuru arrived in Vancouver more nervous than he had been in a while.

The reason was not skating.

The short program was on the sixth, and the free skate on the seventh, which meant the he would skate, go to sleep, hopefully have his dream, and then he’d have to skate again, who knows in what mental condition.

His nerves betrayed him in the short. He touched the ice on the triple axel, and one of his spins was downgraded, so by the end of the day, he was in third place.

He half listened to Brian as he talked to him on their way to the hotel. Javier, who had come as part of the entourage because Team Orser had a full house for the Final, smiled softly at him as he handed him his bag.

“Don’t worry, everything will be okay, you’ll see. I’m in Room 1008 if you need anything.”

Yuzuru forced a small smile, nodding and closing the door behind himself.

He took a shower, scrubbed his hair with the towel to get rid of the excess water, and sighed as he realised he couldn’t keep procrastinating.

He flopped onto the mattress, tugging the covers to get in, and patted Pooh’s head for good luck.

“I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow, Pooh-San. Wish me luck.”

He took a deep breath and turned the lights off, closing his eyes and letting the tiredness from the day’s activities take over him and pull him to sleep.

He opened his eyes after what felt like seconds, surprised to feel the ice beneath his feet. He looked down and confirmed his belief. He was wearing his skates.

He heard another person’s skates cutting the ice as they came closer to his end of the rink, took a deep breath and turned around.

And he instantly started crying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Javi smiled at him, hugging him tightly and brushing his back with his hands.

“Why are you crying? Stop it! Are you not happy to see me?”

He took a step back, breaking the hug and staring at the Spaniards face.

His soulmate’s face.

He started sobbing again, beating Javi’s shoulder with his fists weakly.

“You are so bad” he whimpered “You are so bad Javi.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You tell me you no have soulmate.”

“I know, I’m really sorry.”

“You say you have no dream. Why lie?”

“I didn’t. I didn’t get my dream when I turned 24.” Yuzuru stopped hitting Javier and looked up. “I fell asleep early a little while ago on the eve of my 27th birthday, because tomorrow I have to get up early for you show and woke up here. I’m just as shocked as you are right now.”

“Oh!” Yuzuru widened his eyes. “I remember! You looked bad. I thought you drunk or hangover, you skate so bad.”

“Hey, now that’s mean. Why would I consciously get drunk if I knew I had to skate the next morning”

“Would not be first time you skate drunk” Yuzuru said cocking an eyebrow, and they both started laughing.

Javier hugged Yuzuru again.

“I’m so happy it’s you. So, so happy.”

“I sorry you had to wait so long and think you have no soulmate.”

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault. And the fact that you’re my soulmate makes it up for all the bad times.” He cupped Yuzuru’s flushed cheeks with both his hands, caressing the warm skin with his thumbs, making the younger man practically melt under his touch. “I know you never realised, but I’ve been in love with you for a very, very long time. I fell in love with my Yuzu, the cute, weird Asian kid that became my best friend, and the person that was there for me every day. I don’t care about medals or accomplishments or wins. I only care about you being happy. I love you so much.”

Yuzuru gaped, and then smiled widely, cheeks going even redder.

“I have crush on you for many, many years. Since I come to Toronto. You make me happy, like if I landed 4A. Same happy feeling, only better because it you.”

Now it was Javier’s time to be shocked.

Yuzuru smiled playfully, and then started stroking backwards, raising his hands for Javi to grasp. They were encased in the warmth of the Spaniard in a second.

 

 

 

Yuzuru woke up with a gasp, tears filling his eyes and hands gripping his pillow.

He couldn’t believe it.

He had all chances against him.

And still, he could only remember Javi’s face as they skated together, slow and quiet, smiling at each other like a pair of idiots.

His soulmate was Javier Fernandez.

Olympic Bronze medallist, two-time World Champion, six-time European Champion and eight-time Spanish champion. Intelligent, successful, decorated and world famous. One of the world’s best in his chosen career path.

But above all that, his soulmate was his Javi.

The man he had fallen in love when he was 17 and been in denial about loving for the last 6 years.

The man that had told him that he didn’t need to prove himself. He was perfect for Javi just by existing and being Yuzu.

He was about to get up and run to Javi’s room when he checked the time.

3 AM.

He bit his lip and turned to Pooh-San.

He could see the judgement on the bear’s face.

“Okay, okay, I’ll go back to sleep. And talk with Javi after the free skate is over.”

 

 

He acted as if nothing had happened when he met the rest of his team, and no one said a thing, even when he could see in their faces they were dying to ask if he’d had his dream, and who his soulmate was. He could see Javi’s pale, restless face in the corner of his eye.

He looked so nervous.

It almost made him break his resolve and talk that same instant.

But he held it in. Less than 14 hours and he’d be able to talk all he wanted.

 

 

 

He shook Brian’s hand, and went through his rituals, taking his place at the centre of the ice, and breathing out softly.

He lost himself in the routine, lost himself in the music, stopped feeling and hearing everything around him.

The only thing that existed was the feeling the ice gave him.

It felt warm, and welcoming, just like an old friend, or a lover.

It felt just like being in Javi’s arms.

He snapped out of his headspace when he heard the audience cheer, and he realised the music had finished and he was on his ending pose.

He mentally went over the program he had just skated and collapsed onto the ice in tears when he realised what he had just done.

Had that really happened? Was it real?

He got up, bowing to the crowd, and skated to the exit, avoiding the flying yellow plushies.

Brian’s face and his strong hug confirmed his belief.

He swallowed his tears, put his blade guards on and went to the Kiss & Cry.

“Yuzuru Hanyu, you’ll be the reason I lose all my hair, I swear” Brian scolded, his smile contradicting his voice tone. “What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t”

“Well, of course you weren’t, any sane person would’ve thought about telling his coach if they were planning to change the last jump of their 4-minute-long program into a quad Axel, honestly!” Brian laughed again. “You’ll be doing suicides until your legs fall off when we get back to the Cricket, I promise you. But for today, I’ll let it slide, Mr. first men to ever land a quad Axel in competition.”

His score was huge.

He won gold.

 

 

He knocked on Javi’s door.

He had done his best to avoid the Spaniard while they were still at the arena, and had taken a later transport to the Hotel, so he could collect his thoughts, but he was now going to face the older man.

The door opened, and he instantly pushed his way in, kicking the door closed and hugging Javi with all his strength.

He felt Javi’s shoulders shake before he felt the teardrops on his neck.

“I think of Javi. How happy and warm and loved Javi make me feel. Nothing else, only happiness, and warmth and Javi.”

“You are insane. I lost my breath when I saw the speed you had when you took off for the jump, and only started breathing again when the program ended. I thought you were going to break your neck by falling wrong or something equally as horrible.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re not”

“I’m not, but you love me.”

“I love you.”

“You’re my soulmate”

“I am. And you’re mine.”

“I am.” Yuzuru leant back, grasping at Javi’s cheeks and drying his tears. “And now you’ll never be alone, and we’ll grow old together, and raise Effie and babies and skate until we can’t stand on the ice. Together.”

“Together.”

Javi guided Yuzuru’s face closer to his and kissed him, gently, lovingly, quietly and unhurriedly, just like their friendship had been.

Just how their relationship would be.

They broke the kiss, and Yuzuru grinned from ear to ear, giggling and making Javi laugh, hugging each other closer again, with no intention to let the other go.

 

 

 

 

 

When he was 24, Yuzuru learnt something:

He had made his mum proud.

He had made his dad and sister proud.

He had made Sendai proud.

He had made Japan proud.

 

He had the best soulmate in the history of soulmates. Because it was his Javi. The only person he ever loved, and the only person perfect for him. The only person that had told him that even if he stopped skating that same day and never stepped on the ice again, he would still be valuable and perfect and that Javi would always be proud of him no matter what.

 

But most importantly.

When he was 24, Yuzuru Hanyu learnt that he was valid, and not guilty, and not a coward.

 

_When he was 24, Yuzuru Hanyu learnt he was proud of himself._


End file.
